Truths about change – the beauty of being exactly where I need to be

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This week is my fifth month in the Netherlands. What an adventure to live the life I’ve always wanted for myself and my family! Besides all the expected challenges of settling into a new home country, the biggest change for me has been becoming a full-time mom. 

This was – and still is – huge. I’ve never not worked in my life. I spent the majority of my career working as a journalist in a fast-paced and severe environment filled with impossible deadlines, stress and anxiety. At the end of each day I had very little time or energy for my son. I had zero capacity for enthusiasm. It wasn’t sustainable and I knew it. My depression medication dosage doubled. I had more than one emotional, psychological and physical breakdown. 

Suddenly, all that came to a grinding halt. My life took at 360 degree turn. 

Instead of flying out the door at 6am in the morning to start work at 7am, I now make school lunches, prepare breakfast and take my son to school. I have time to make friends with other moms. I have coffee with new friends in the mornings. I arrange playdates for my son after school and I can actually be there. I fetch my son from school at 1pm and on our cycle home we talk about everything he did that day. The two of us can do so much together – walks in the forest, running up and down sand dunes, go to the beach, bake cakes, visit museums and go to the movies. 

During the past five months I’ve often had a song called Turn! Turn! Turn! on my mind. In 1965 it was a hit single by folk rock group, The Byrds, and was written by Pete Seeger in the late 1950s.

…To everything, turn, turn, turn.
There is a season, turn, turn, turn.
And a time to every purpose under heaven….  

There is something quite amazing about huge life changes. You find your direction amid the change and temporary uncertainty. I think being a full-time mom is possibly the best thing that has ever happened to me. This is a busy and demanding job but I love this season of my life.

When I think about how my life has changed, I now know this: 

I’m happy. Not in a frivolous way but a deep restfulness.  

My priorities and values are in alignment. I have time and energy for my son. I love showing him how wonderful the world is, I love encouraging him to dream, discover and experiment. 

I have time to look after myself. This is something I’ve neglected in the past. 

I’m brave. I am rebuilding my life the way I want it. 

I’m grateful that my husband values my contribution to our family and makes it possible for me to be at home with our son.

 

If you are lucky enough to find a way of life you love, you have to find the courage to live it. –  John Irving. 

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To live deliberately

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Trees

                     Forest ride through Bloemendal and Overveen, North Holland.                                   Photo: Wilma den Hartigh

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately. To front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach and not, when I came to die, discovered that I had not lived … I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life… ” – Henry David Thoreau

Wow – what a challenge!  To live deliberately. To live deep.

But first, cappuccino

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Coffee – or cappuccino to be accurate – is important in my life. I have developed a habit of taking photos of my coffee wherever I go, and posting these on my Instagram account.

Take a look at these photos of some of my favourite cappuccinos over the past year or so, taken all over South Africa and in the Netherlands.

What I enjoy most about the ritual of ordering a cappuccino is the surprise of what it looks like. However, the contents should not be a lucky packet – strong and warm is a must. 🙂

I love the detail: the shape and colour of the cup, the old-school doilies (these only come with the cup in country places), the biscuits (usually shortcake or ginger and is always a plus point for me – the hand-shaped biscuit is my favourite).  Then there are disposable cups – sometimes corrugated, printed or biodegradable.

I also look at the colour of the coffee, the density of the foam and the patterns. Oh, I love the patterns! Sometimes these are added using a stencil with a dusting of cocoa or cinnamon.

What’s really impressive is if the barista creates a heart by pouring the milk in a certain way or writes words with chocolate syrup. Occasionally a few coffee beans are sprinkled on top.

Taking time out for a coffee is something I do just for me. It is fun, makes me smile and helps me to relax (unless the coffee is cold – then I ask for a new one!)

When was the last time you did something just for you? 

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Life lessons from a sad tiger

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This evening I read my son Matthew the most beautiful story. It is about a sad tiger called Augustus and he thinks that he’s lost his smile.

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He sets off to find it and  right at the end he realises this:

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Happiness is everywhere around him. And that’s true! There is beauty in this world and in life even when it is unbearable and overwhelming. We must celebrate simple happiness…the little things.

I read this recently:

Think today is just another day? You woke up. You heart’s beating. You can talk to anyone. You can try anything. Your day has infinite potential. Now that’s something to celebrate. – Lori Deschene

Wow. That’s something to think about.

Thank you, Augustus! ♡

 

 

It only takes one decision

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Don’t be afraid to start over. It’s a brand new opportunity to rebuild what you truly want. – Author unknown

It is good to remember that a different life requires just one decision. Follow your heart. It will never lead you astray. 💛

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Morning view. Blesberg Farm, KwaZulu-Natal Midlands, South Africa. Photo: Wilma den Hartigh

 

Mechanical Mandalas

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I recently took these photos on a working farm called Wyford near a tiny village, Van Reenen, in KwaZulu-Natal in South Africa.

I am always drawn to circular objects as they remind me of mandalas. These objects are wheels of vintage farm implements and old horse-drawn carriages. They represented so much history and I wondered what stories they could tell! The mandala, in my life, is symbolic of life’s journey, healing, wholeness and personal growth.

That’s why I decided to call this photo collection Mechanical Mandalas.

I give credit to Mother Earth for the gorgeous lighting which helped to make the photos extra special. The farm itself was beautiful – the perfect place to reflect on life with gratitude.  💛

Be in the moment

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Sadness gives depth

Happiness gives height.
Sadness gives roots.
Happiness gives branches.
Happiness is like a tree going into the sky,
and sadness is like the roots
going down into the womb of the earth.
Both are needed, and the
higher a tree goes, the
deeper it goes,
simultaneously.
The bigger the tree,
the bigger will be its roots.
In fact, it is always
in proportion.

That is balance

Osho Rajneesh, Indian spiritual teacher
Tree Delta Park